I have defined myself as theist for some time now, but I'm also on a mental quest to define what 'God' is. I decided a long time ago that God is not a 'man in the sky' as evidenced by my Thin Places post. I believe in the most accurate definition of God that I can find which is the Taoist concept of the Tao.
Now, Taoists do not believe in God as a sentient figurehead that gives out rewards and punishments as religions like Christianity and Islam do. They believe in the Tao, which is something indefinable. You really just have to understand it over time to even get the concept in the first place.
Apparently, in order to be a 'theist', you must first believe in a 'higher power' of some sort. Then you can define yourself in the subsects of polytheism or monotheism, meaning multiple higher powers or just one. I think Christianity is Polytheistic on a number of levels, but that's another topic for another day.
The term 'higher power' insinuates that you believe in something that is sentient, or in control. I don't believe that. I believe in the concept of the subconscious god, or a god that doesn't have a higher consciousness because he simply doesn't need it. This god doesn't speak to people in a language because he doesn't work that way, hence why I don't believe that the Bible is the word of God.
So, since the term 'higher power' doesn't apply to me, I'm not considered a 'theist'. So what does that make me?
I must be someone who doesn't believe in God, more commonly known as an atheist.
So here's the dilemma. The general definition of atheist means that there is not just 'no God' or 'no higher power' but it further makes the assertion that there is 'nothing' so to speak.
I find this concept to be bullshit as well.
I tend to make the 'mistake' of calling what I believe in "God". So when someone asks me if I believe in God, I say yes, truthfully, while at the same time I lie. God to me is the subconscious being that I made reference to earlier. 'He' is the life force, the energy of the universe. I believe that one person that I meet should be just as important to me as myself because that other person is a part of me, and a part of the whole that makes up 'God'.
So, I'm not a theist, I'm not an atheist. But I'm something in between. I'm neither, but I'm both. To ask me if I'm one or the other is really an unanswerable question because I fit into both buckets but not entirely in either.
I do not think that life could exist without the force of life. The force of life itself is a miracle of epic proportions, scientifically explained or not. If science discovers the formula of life, then I say that they have entered the science of God, not disproved God. God will not strike them down for entering his domain, because he doesn't have the kind of emotions that would care.
But, this 'God' is still worthy enough of recognition, and is still a part of the supernatural. It is both spiritual and religious to believe in this kind of God, so it's hard to say that it's an atheistic belief, even though it's not belief in the so-called 'higher power'.
There's a lot of other things that make up my beliefs on God. And they're very different from the norm. And while I appreciate the fact that I'm unique on this subject, it's frustrating at the same time.